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Left a bit, Right a bit, Up a bit, Down a bit - A solo exhibition by CC Kua

Left a bit, Right a bit, Up a bit, Down a bit 
左邊一點點,右邊一點點,上面一點點,下面一點點 
• A solo exhibition by CC Kua •
柯佳騏創作個展
 
Lostgens' Contemporary Art Space
8 June (sat) - 21 June (fri) 2019
1pm - 6pm
(closed on mondays) 
 
Opening: 8 June 2019, Sat 7pm
light refreshments will be served
admission free
 
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Artist Statement: 
 
How does it feel like to put up an exhibition? It is always filled with fear and excitement. This experience is similar to exposing a diary of personal thoughts and feelings to others. However, I can't wait to share my pieces and hope they'll resonate with the viewers, or trigger some brain activity at the same time.
 
I ponder continuously the questions about 'precision' and 'centralization'. I assume that I do not have antisocial personality disorder, it's just that collecting fragments from our daily-life has always been my interest. I take society as a big bread, while the majority is heading towards totality (the big bread), my passion as an artist is to pick up those bread crumbs (the fragments or values that have been left behind). My oeuvre is never attached to specific topics, they carry a sense of scatteredness instead.
 
I recall the experience of having someone to scratch my back: by instructing (left a bit, right a bit, up a bit, down a bit……) we tried hard to find the itch. It turned out that the itch doesn't exist at all, it may be just a psychological effect. However, I am into this seemingly meaningless and futile process. To me, such activity is vital especially in today's capitalist society that stresses on utilitarianism and efficiency. What makes us human after all? I am afraid of this increasingly convenient and systematic world.
 
Perhaps, my utopia lies within daily life, it is no longer on the other shore, but it exists right here right now. I take actions on trivial things. In a world without the opposite shore, our vision stopped focusing on a straight line, yet we start to look around for different perspectives, we squat, we jump, we lean back, and we lean forward. We will never arrive as there is no destination, but we keep on walking.  So why do we still choose to depart? That is to approach, to create relationships, and to experience the beauty of uncertainties.
 
Paintings and drawings attract me more than other art forms. It provides a moment of tranquility, incitement, mind-twitching or inexplicable mixed emotions, even if they are still. Years ago, drawing was only my weekend or after-work activity, it was personal but not isolated nor closed. I remember that state of mind, it was like being in a big empty room with natural lights shining in through the window. Sometimes, subconsciously I fall into a mode of concentration when I am drawing or painting, often when I come back to myself I am with my opening mouth, not to mention experiencing epiphanies. I draw, I paint, because 'I have something to say', but it goes beyond language, although it implies the element of language. We humans, think in language. But, in paintings, the functionality of language no longer works smoothly. 
 
Years of accumulation in visual training makes me feel like a visual hunter, I observe shape and colours of things and happenings, at the same time, I search and capture within memories and knowledge; once the observation and knowledge collide with each other, bam! That's it, I will be excited for some period of time before laying the idea or composition down on a surface. I hope that my works carry the poetic essence of haiku, instead of being like a cheesy love pop song. 
 
每次辦展覽都有一種暴露狂的不安與興奮,就如打開自己的日記供人參觀的心情,害怕卻又同時期待觀者可以在我的作品上找到一些共鳴,或者激發一些腦內運動。
 
我常常思考關於「精準」和「中心」的問題。我應該沒有反社會人格吧,只是喜歡收集一些屑屑以及「旁邊」的事。當大多數的人都朝向一塊大麵包或者「中心」,我對於掉下來的麵包屑總是比較好奇;就如我的繪畫作品常常帶有東張西望的意味,它們從來不依偎著任何大議題。
 
我想起了指使別人幫我抓背的經驗:我們靠語音指示(左邊一點點、右邊一點點、上面一點點、下面一點點……)努力尋找著那個癢點。結果發現,那個癢也許只是心理作用,癢點根本就不存在。我喜歡這種看似無意義又徒勞的過程,在講究效率的資本主義社會,這些活動顯得無聊卻有溫度。如果我們可以回想一下童年所做的事情:把東西從這個箱子搬到另一個箱子、在牆上塗鴉、把床當成是船再自導自演暴風雨自己嚇自己……有時候沒意義的事挺有意思的,我害怕這個越來越方便以及制式化的世界。
 
我的烏托邦也許就在日常裡,烏托邦不再是一個彼岸,而是一個瞬間。我為小小的事情行動,沒有彼岸的世界,視線不再是往前看的一條直線,而是左看右看上看下看;時而蹲下、跳躍、往後仰、往前傾。沒有彼岸,就永遠不會抵達,只是一直行走。然而,為什麼我們仍選擇出發?那是為了趨近,為了產生關係,為了經歷偶然。
 
繪畫的純粹,比任何的藝術形式都還要吸引我。在繪畫裡,沒有鬥智,只提供一刻的寧靜、躁動、神經抽蓄或無法命名的混雜情感;即使它是靜止的。多年前,畫畫是我下班以後或週末的活動,它很個人,但不封閉。我記得那種狀態,就像在一個有自然光的空曠房間裡。在畫畫的過程中,我不自覺會掉入一個專注模式,有時回過神來才發覺嘴巴開開的;即使那些畫看起來如此的漫不經心。繪畫是「有話要說」,但它超越語言;即使隱含著語言的成份。我們用語言在思考,但在繪畫裡,語言的工具性不再那麼流暢地運作。
 
多年的視覺經驗累積和訓練讓我覺得自己像一個視覺獵人--捕捉人、事、物的形狀顏色或一舉一動,並同時自動搜尋腦子裡的記憶或知識,當觀察和知識在交匯點碰上了,砰!這時我會為此興奮好一陣子,直到我把它們畫出來或作品化。我期許著自己的作品帶著俳句的詩意,不要像一首黏膩的情歌。
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